There are only two good things about Godfrey Ho's Ninja Terminator: Jang Lee Hwang and Richard Harrison's dub actor. Everything else about this cut-and-paste atrocity is a nightmare. The plot makes absolutely no sense: three ninjas (one played by Richard Harrison) break away from the "Ninja Empire" and steal the sacred Golden Ninja Warrior, an object that contains some kind of supreme ninja power. But about half of the film is made up of footage of Jang Lee Hwang casually kicking the daylights out of random people as part of a plot to rescue a kidnapped girl. Or at least I think that's what was happening. The editing between the Hwang stock footage and Ho's new Harrison footage is so disjointed that following the plot after the one hour mark isn't a possibility. What's worse, some of the footage that was obviously shot in widescreen was cropped for a different aspect ratio. As a result, many shots cut off characters that we are supposed to see. My favorite example was an early scene at a graveyard where the aspect ratio transfer was so terrible that we have to listen to an off-screen character give a prolonged monologue as we stare at an off-center graveyard. Ninja Terminator is an abysmal film and one of the worst martial arts films I've ever seen. That said, I believe that everyone needs to see this movie. It is one of the most unintentionally hysterical films ever made. From Harrison's novelty Garfield phone to the main antagonist's ridiculous blonde wig, everything in Ninja Terminator seems deliberately designed to be the most insane thing ever committed to celluloid. If someone told me that Ninja Terminator was a deliberate spoof of the ninja genre, I would have believed them. Check this film out!
1/10
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