No need to despair, the world's gotta end sometime. And since people started making Rapture predictions centuries ago every one of the hundreds of days picked turned out to be wrong, you should feel comfortable in making your own. After all, you can't do any worse than all the biblical scholars, astrologists, numerologists, preachers, teachers and other creatures that have tried before you.
Luckily there's an endless array of natural phenomena available for creative interpretation. You can then look at the numbers associated with these events to figure out an apocalypse day that works best for you. And when, sorry -IF it doesn't work out there's always more out there and numbers to play with. You can do it your whole life if you want -a very good use of your life by the way. You should give it serious consideration.
Don't be intimidated. It's actually quite easy and fun. Here's one I worked out this morning:
I had Taco Bell last night and it was so God-awful I understood it to be a sign that the end was near. After 6 burritos, two gorditas, and one chalupa (6-2-1) it took only twenty (20) minutes before I had to run for the bathroom eleven (11) times. Clearly this means the world will end 6/21/2011. -So in another month.
(I checked the numbers twice, so frankly there's no way I could be wrong.) If you value your afterlife at all you'll heed this warning. Now go prepare.
Luckily there's an endless array of natural phenomena available for creative interpretation. You can then look at the numbers associated with these events to figure out an apocalypse day that works best for you. And when, sorry -IF it doesn't work out there's always more out there and numbers to play with. You can do it your whole life if you want -a very good use of your life by the way. You should give it serious consideration.
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| Step right up, pick a number, any number... |
I had Taco Bell last night and it was so God-awful I understood it to be a sign that the end was near. After 6 burritos, two gorditas, and one chalupa (6-2-1) it took only twenty (20) minutes before I had to run for the bathroom eleven (11) times. Clearly this means the world will end 6/21/2011. -So in another month.
(I checked the numbers twice, so frankly there's no way I could be wrong.) If you value your afterlife at all you'll heed this warning. Now go prepare.
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He sees all; disappoint Him not.
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